Lately I’ve been feeling very down and, having suffered a couple of bouts of severe anxiety and depression in the past that really incapacitated me , I found myself dreading that it was happening all over again. But I cried out to the Lord and He heard me! I reminded myself that God hasn’t given me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind.[2 Tim 1:7]
When you live alone and you’re getting on in years it’s so easy to go down in a spiral of dark thoughts, pessimism and fear, because it brings its own stresses and strains. And you can feel particularly guilty if you are a Christian; so your self- condemnation only adds to your misery!
I have always been prone to not wanting to burden others with what I know can only be resolved by my walk with and trust in the Lord Himself. Everyone has enough illnesses and problems of their own anyway …. Over the years, unfortunately and very sadly, I found that ‘Church’ wasn’t always as helpful as you would have expected – indeed, it could even add to your stress, so that, instead of being an oasis from the world and personal trials – it was the exact opposite. I am not complaining about that as it simply threw me more on the Lord’s grace and mercy – I’m just stating facts.
So it was I learned to take my woes to the Lord and cry out to Him. His word taught me to bring my thoughts captive to Christ, wait upon Him and trust in His care. It can be very much a difficult learning process though, but He is faithful and answers our prayers in the perfect way for us.
While recovering from a particularly bad bout of depression some years ago, I’d gone into a shop and the title of a book jumped out at me from the shelf. It was ‘Peace From Nervous Suffering’ by Dr Claire Weekes and it was just what I needed!
I am always wary of self-help books based on psychology and psychiatry as they can be full of humanistic philosophies and occult practises, but this book was as practical, insightful and helpful as it gets, and apart from the Bible it turned out to be the best book I could have read, as it speeded my recovery with understanding.
So, having for so long been fine , it came as something of a shock the other day to experience the return of those same old familiar, but horrible symptoms. however – I was more able to deal with them this time. After crying out to the Lord, I dug out some notes I remember I’d written from Dr Weekes’ book and refreshed her advice.
Out of curiosity I did a google search to see if her books were still available so that I could recommend them, and yes, they still are. Not only that, I came across a Blog written by Peter Stone http://cornerstonethefoundation.blogspot.co.uk He has an inspiring testimony and has written very helpful posts, plus an excellent Forum.
I can guarantee that fellow sufferers will be greatly enlightened and helped by both Dr Claire Weekes and Peter Stone ‘s insights.
The morning I was feeling so down, I read psalm 18 and I will close with verses 28-33 followed by Spurgeon’s commentary on it.
” …. For you will light my candle; the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness. For by Thee I have run through a troop; and by my God I have leaped over a wall [ at 77 yrs old that's some feat! lol] As for God, His way is perfect: the word of the Lord is tried: He is a buckler to all those that trust in Him. For who is God save the Lord? or who is a rock save our God? It is God that girds me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like hinds’ feet and sets me on my high places”
Spurgeon’s commentary on verse 28: ” It may be that my soul sits in darkness; and if this be of a spiritual kind, no human power can bring me light. Blessed be God! He can enlighten my darkness, and at once light my candle. Even though I may be surrounded by a ‘darkness which might be felt’, yet He can break the gloom and immediately make it bright around me.
The mercy is that if He lights the candle none can blow it out, neither will it go out for lack of substance, nor burn out itself through the lapse of hours. The lights which the Lord kindled in the beginning are shining still. The Lord’s lamps may need trimming, but He does not put them out.
Let me, like the nightingale, sing in the dark. Expectation shall furnish me with music, and hope shall pitch the tune. Soon I shall rejoice in a candle of God’s lighting. I am dull and dreary just now. Perhaps it is the weather or bodily weakness or the surprise of a sudden trouble; but whatever has made the darkness, it is God alone who will bring the light. My eyes are unto Him alone. I shall soon have the candles of the Lord shining about me and further on in His own good time I shall be where they need no candle, neither light of the sun. Hallelujah!
You are most welcome to leave comments, testimony or advice and help for other sufferers.
see you next time God bless, Eileen